The Curse of Lovely: How to break free from the demands of others and learn how to say no.pdf
Many people's lives, relationships, careers and wellbeing are blighted by the belief that to be liked, loved and accepted they have to limit themselves to the behaviours they believe are approved of by others. This might mean some or all of the following: always being polite, nice, helpful, charming, fun, making people feel good about themselves, not letting people down, never saying 'no', avoiding conflict and putting others' needs before their own. Jacqui Marson in her 15 years of clinical experience as a psychologist has coined the phrase 'the curse of lovely' to describe this growing trend. Many people would like to be known as lovely, but for a growing number of people it can feel like a curse. They feel trapped, suffocated and oppressed by the weight of others' expectations and feel that change is not an option. This highly practical and motivational book will show readers how to break the cycle or curse of lovely to live a more complete, fulfilling life. Contents include: When 'lovely' turns into a curse; the lovely child - how it all begins; the lovely friend; the lovely parent; the lovely colleague; the lovely partner; from curse to gift - how we can still be lovable and get our needs met; but what do I want - how to tune in to what your body is telling you; re-evaluating anger; saying 'no' and surviving; how to instigate scary conversations; and how to replace the personal rules that put you at the bottom on the pile.
Jacqui Marson is a chartered counselling psychologist with a private practice in Covent Garden, London. She is the inhouse psychologist for Channel Five News and has a monthly column, Fast Therapy, in Psychologies magazine.